Thursday, May 20, 2010

17-20.05.10 Resting and Shining

Monday: off; Tuesday: 1 hr guided class; Wed: off; Thurs: 30 mins

Monday I was tired. TIRED. So I decided to take the day off. Which was unusual. I didn't know why I felt so tired, but I knew I needed a break. Tuesday I felt uninspired and tired, and I knew I wouldn't be able to practice on my own, so I pushed myself into a lunchtime yoga class. I didn't really enjoy the class, but I remained present and stayed with it. When I tried to go to the gym Tuesday night, I only managed 20 mins of cardio before I felt extremely dizzy and had to stop. I was confused about what was going on, but I knew my body needed a break. So I went home. I started thinking that maybe I was premenstrual. And the next day I discovered I was right.

So, as Martine suggested, I decided to take Wednesday off as a first-day-of-my-menstrual-cycle holiday. I felt indulgent. Especially since I had taken Monday off as a pre-menstrual holiday (though I hadn't known that was the reason at the time). But it was like I was secretly giving myself a present; like no one else even knew about the present... but I still loved it.

I considered taking today off as well, but I felt energetic and wanted to do some more practice at dropping back. I did one against the wall and then two in the middle of the room. I felt so amazing after doing those dropbacks. I was giggly and ecstatic. The energy I saved over the past few days, and the energy I created in my practice this morning shone through my day today. I had a 1.5 hour presentation to give this afternoon and a cycling class to teach after it. In both situations, I had several people express their appreciation of me. I felt humbled and amazed by their comments. I really heard what they said, and I felt the reflection of their comments shine back out of myself.

The productivity and accomplishment I felt at everything in my day today was overwhelming. The positivity was a stark contrast to some of my days recently, and I felt like I was reaping the rewards of my yogic sowing. Maybe the resting contributed to the subsequent shining?

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