Tuesday, April 20, 2010

19-20.04.10 Experiencing Disappointment

Mon: 30 mins personal; 1 hr teaching; Tues: 15 mins personal

I'm so tired. It's only 8pm and I slept nine hours last night. I have no reason to be so exhausted, but I am. It was certainly reflected in my half-hearted attempt to practice yoga this morning. I did a few sun salutations, tried some hamstring and back stretching, attempted some handstands, felt so tired I went to the floor for some reclining poses, and then just had to move to rest.

I intended to teach a class tonight and two tomorrow night. The two tomorrow night were part of a new organization's yoga start up. And someone else who was considering teaching for the organization was going to teach a class tonight and I was going to cover her old class this evening. However, today the new organization decided not to offer yoga classes. Thus, the other yoga teacher didn't need her class covered tonight. That meant I had a sudden night of freedom. But that's not how I saw it.

It was really hard for me to deal with this disappointment today. I have spent so much time investing in getting hired and ready to teach for that organization. Since I was so physically tired, I didn't want to practice more yoga this evening to help ease my disappointment. So instead, I challenged myself to think about my yoga-related disappointment from a yoga standpoint. The following thoughts resulted:

I don't have control over most things; I need to accept what is here and now. The disappointment is over. It has occurred and is in the past.

I have the ability to explore what I'm feeling inside and recognize, accept, and experience these emotions. It is uncomfortable to fully experience unpleasant emotions. But being present through all of my emotions is important in acknowledging my place within my world.

I need to be kind to myself as I wait for guidance to come from within. Tomorrow may bring new opportunities if I am open to them.

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